


Watching The Sky Fall.

by brooklynbis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Anxiety, Depression, Established Relationship, Exams, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Liam is mentioned, Louis is an amazing boyfriend, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Protective!Louis, Stress, Student!Harry, anxious!harry, harry is at college, louis works at a bakery, sad!harry, supportive!louis, unrealistically high standards, zayn and niall are in it briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 17:58:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17854451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklynbis/pseuds/brooklynbis
Summary: Harry had always been a high achieving student. He had done well in his GCSEs and within weeks of starting college, he was getting As and A*s in all of his tests and homeworks. His lecturers expected nothing but those grades from him. Anything less was disappointing.It was Saturday evening that Harry could feel himself completely slipping away. His nerves were at an all time high, and he could feel his eyes hurting from the strain of focusing for so long. Despite the many hours he had studied in that day alone, he felt like he knew nothing, and he had never felt so unprepared for this particular exam.______________________AKA Harry feels extremely pressured to keep up his high standards by everyone except Louis. Louis works at a bakery and is Harry's safe place.





	Watching The Sky Fall.

**Author's Note:**

> (I swear I never intend for them to be this long)   
> basically I have some feelings, and whilst this is kind of unrelated, most of the things I write are inspired by my own thoughts, and this would be one of them. Louis works for a bakery company in this, and Harry is an A Level Student studying biology, psychology and English lit. 
> 
> trigger warnings : mentions of panic attacks, crying (idk if that's a trigger but better to be safe), hints of anxiety and possible depression
> 
> title from 'death of a bachelor' by panic! at the disco 
> 
> comments, feedback and kudos would be appreciated if you enjoyed, plus any prompts which you can leave in the comments or in my tumblr ask box @/brooklynbis

Harry had always been a high achieving student. He had done well in his GCSEs, much better than he had expected and suddenly, everybody's standards had been raised. All his family praised him on how hard he worked (despite the fact he barely revised for each exam), and when he went for his college interview, the lecturer interviewing him had nothing but praise. 

For a while, Harry believed in himself. He must be naturally talented at certain subjects to some extent, or he wouldn't have gotten the grades he did. Within weeks of starting college, he was getting As and A*s in all of his tests and homeworks, and then his lecturers expected nothing but those grades from him. Anything less was disappointing. 

When revising for his February mocks, his friends would always be asking him questions, expecting him to know the answers. He had a few study sessions with Niall from psychology, and he spent most of them teaching Niall everything he hadn't taken notes on (basically the entire of the course). It helped, but then he had expectations of Harry too. And whilst Liam from his biology class was intelligent, he noticed that whenever he didn't have a set of notes, or a similar problem, he'd come straight to Harry. 

He loved to be able to help his friends, he really did. But sometimes, he just needed to focus on himself. 

______________________________

"Morning, love. What did you want this morning?" Louis greeted him as he entered the small coffee shop, leaning forward over the counter so Louis could kiss his cheek, making him smile. 

"Some sorta coffee, don't really care what," Harry replied as he looked at the pastry cabinet briefly before shaking his head to himself, instead watching his boyfriend make his coffee without so much as stopping to think. 

"You alright? You seem kinda frazzled," Louis commented as he looked up from the milk he was preparing for a second, frowning when Harry nodded. 

"Yeah, just tired. Exams start next week," Harry informed him as Louis nodded understandingly. 

"You'll be fine, Haz. I've no doubt you're gonna do amazingly in them," Louis replied before fixing a lid onto the cup and handing it to Harry. "I'll say I had it so you don't have to pay." 

"Thanks. It's just these exams count towards everything, I can't afford to mess them up, not now," Harry sighed. 

"I know, babe, but I have utmost faith in you. You're gonna do amazingly, and we'll celebrate and then you'll get to go to uni and you'll do equally as well there, yeah? Believe in yourself more, Harry." 

"I'm trying. I'd better go or I'll be late for English. You working all day?" Harry asked, picking up his bag from where he'd put it down at his feet. 

"Yeah, Tammy's got a hospital appointment so I'm running it for the day." Louis said as he tapped a few things on the till before looking up at his younger boyfriend. 

"Cool, might come back after college or in my break then, but I don't know yet," Harry shrugged as he leaned forward again and quickly kissed Louis' lips, rolling his eyes as he heard the door to the shop open, making Louis giggle in the process. 

"Okay. Love you, don't work too hard," Louis reminded him as Harry chuckled and nodded before heading out of the shop, holding the door open for an old man before leaving, sighing as he felt the summer morning's breeze on his skin. 

He could already tell it was going to be a long day. 

________________________

It was a couple of days later, a Thursday when Harry next went to the bakery. He knew Louis wasn't working, since he had worked the past three days, but he knew enough of the other staff and they knew him. His first exam was on the Monday, and he was quickly running out of time to feel prepared, so he and Niall had skipped the scheduled psychology lecture to come here and do some past papers instead. 

"Honestly, you're gonna smash it, feel sorry for people like me who don't have a fucking clue," Niall joked as he followed Harry into the shop as Harry shook his head. 

"Genuinely, I feel like my brain has just shut down on me days before the exams, it's worrying," Harry replied as they waited in the line, having arrived during one of the busy tourist rushes. 

"Oh shut up Haz, you know you're gonna do great. Oh, I found a few exam questions that I don't know what the fuck they're asking me to do, could you help in a minute?" Niall asked as Harry nodded without hesitation, unable to say no. 

"Hi Harry," Tammy chirped as they reached the front of the queue, Harry chuckling when he noticed her relax slightly at seeing they were the last in the line. 

"Tamz, I'm just gonna take five a minute, if that's okay?" One of the other women, Abbigail said from where she was heading towards the door, as Tammy nodded. 

"Hi Tamz, just a cup of tea for me for a minute thanks," Harry said as she nodded, not bothering to ask if he wanted milk like she did with any other customer. 

"And a mocha for me please," Niall piped up as she nodded in acknowledgement. Harry loved everyone who worked in the same shop as Louis, despite not working with them himself. Working in a bakery had always been his backup plan, and he couldn't help but think about how that was a very real possibility at the moment. 

Tammy was the manager of the shop, and Harry knew how much the job stressed her out sometimes. The people who managed the chain of bakeries who were higher in the management part were utter assholes from what he had heard from Louis, and sometimes Tammy herself. He knew they treated their staff like shit, and expected the world of them, which was why Louis was hesitant to take the assistant manager's role when the last one left. But he knew it would relieve some pressure on Tammy after she'd had several rounds of shitty staff, so he took it (plus, the pay bonus was nice enough). 

"How are you?" Harry asked when she spun around holding the two drinks, putting them down on the counter before tapping on the till. 

"Alright, thanks. Area manager isn't happy at the idea of me having sick leave for ten weeks soon, but like I said to him, I can't pick and choose when I have this operation," Tammy said as Harry nodded. 

"No, obviously not. Have you gotten a date for the operation then?" He knew she was talking about the leg operation she had been waiting to have for years, Louis had told him how he would have to step up as manager for those months, with Abbigail taking his place as assistant manager, being the only other person old enough for the role. 

"Yeah, they want to do it in a month's time, which is great and all, but I can't help but feel guilty to leave Lou and Abbi to run the shop whilst in the peak of the season," She shrugged as she typed in the correct amount into the card machine. 

"Louis' told you so many times that he's fine with it though," Harry frowned as he beeped his card, before turning around to look for Niall, who had disappeared. 

"Yes, but management will be awful to him at this time of the year more than any other time. And there's no real explaining how it affects you until it's been directed at you, I worry for him," Tammy sighed as she held up the receipt at him and he shook his head, picking up the drinks. 

"He'll be alright, he would tell you otherwise. I'd tell you otherwise, yeah? You can't turn this down, especially not because of management, there must be a law against that." 

"Oh trust me, I'm not planning on it. It was nice to see you," She said with a smile as he nodded, and waved before turning around to find Niall, shaking his head when he saw the Irish boy sat down at the table closest to the door, beside a window. 

"You could talk for bloody England sometimes Haz, I swear," Niall muttered as Harry approached him, putting his phone on the table as Harry passed him the drink, giving him the middle finger briefly afterwards, smiling as Niall laughed loudly. 

"Why are you stressing out so much? You've prepared for this for months, man," Niall said a while later when he noticed Harry groan and rest his head on his arms on the table, staring out the window with a blank expression on his face. 

"Doesn't fucking feel like it," Harry muttered, not looking at Niall. 

"It'll all be up there, don't worry about it," Niall said, ruffling Harry's curls as he looked at him with an irritated frown on his face. Niall watched it melt away into a fond expression before turning around and seeing Louis had come into the shop, smiling at his boyfriend as he clutched his keys in his hand. 

"Jesus Christ, the change you create is ridiculous," Niall said as Louis laughed, walking around the divider to ruffle Harry's hair fondly, only receiving a fond smile in response as Niall gasped. 

"Why does he get such a good response yet when I do it you look at me like I'm the devil?!" He gasped, as Harry raised his head enough to poke his tongue out at Niall. 

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Harry murmured as he looked up at Louis. 

"Gotta pick up the keys to the shop so I can get in tomorrow morning," Louis told him as he nodded, sighing as he rested his head against Louis' abdomen, making him coo at his boyfriend. 

"Why don't you take a break?" Niall suggested as Harry shook his head, wrapping his arms around Louis' hips loosely, smiling as he felt Louis stroking his curls softly. 

"There's not enough time to take a break Ni, the exam is in five days!" Harry exclaimed as if it were obvious, ignoring Niall's frown as he let go of Louis and sat up again, staring down at the exam question he just couldn't comprehend. Louis just shook his head as he walked away, over to the counter and into the back room where he knew his coworkers would be. 

"Could you help me with this a minute? I swear we've never been taught this." 

_________________________

It was Saturday evening that Harry could feel himself completely slipping away. His nerves were at an all time high, and he could feel his eyes hurting from the strain of focusing for so long. Despite the many hours he had studied in that day alone, he felt like he knew nothing, and he had never felt so unprepared for this particular exam. 

"Harry, you should take a break. Your brain's gonna shut down," Gemma said as she stood in his doorway, watching him frantically make another mindmap. 

"There's no time to take a break," he muttered, not taking his eyes off the notes he was making. Gemma sighed, flicking the main light on and raising her eyebrows when he winced at the sudden brightness in the room. 

"Harry, you've done great in every test you've ever done. There's no way you're gonna mess this up, chill out," Gemma promised him as he shook his head and got up from the desk, gently pushing her out of the room before closing the door, turning around and sighing as he tugged his curls gently, not being able to escape the immense pressure he could feel on his shoulders. 

He knew he wasn't being rational at this point. But he had been studying since 5am, for nearly 16 hours now, and he felt like he was only going backwards, and he was scared shitless. Everyone would be so disappointed in him if he failed, or even if he only got a B. People expected better from him, and he couldn't deal with that failure. 

He spent another pointless half an hour trying to remember topics to put on his mindmap before giving up, chucking the pen across the room in frustration as he sat back in his chair and covered his face with his hands, feeling the tears of anger at himself building up in his eyes. He scrubbed them away furiously. He should understand this, be able to reel it off from heart, and yet he couldn't remember a single piece of it. Even when he referred to his textbook, he didn't get it. Even when he pulled up the mark scheme to the simple two mark question he couldn't answer, he still didn't understand. 

Quite frankly, he was panicking. 

He shook his head, quickly pushing himself out of his chair and pulling on socks and a pair of trainers before picking up his phone. He knew there was only one person who could talk some calm into him right now.

Harry : are you home?  
Louis : yeah, why? 

He didn't bother responding, instead just shoving his phone into the back pocket of his jeans, hooking his headphones up and selecting some music before leaving the room. 

"Going to Louis', don't wait up," Harry called without stopping as he walked through the corridor, grabbing his keys as an afterthought before leaving the house. He could see the sun setting in the distance, and he could feel the cool June night's air on his bare arms, but he didn't bother to go back for a hoodie. 

Instead, he just walked. He tried to avoid thinking too much as he walked at a quick pace, needing to just get away. He wasn't sure it was working, but he tried anyway, taking the long route to Louis' block of flats. He had walked around nearly the entire town, it being dark by the time he reached the block of flats, choosing to walk up the stairs instead of wait for the temperamental elevator. 

He took a moment to stop his music and take a few deep breaths before he knocked on the dark blue door that belonged to Louis. 

"Hey Harry, late for you to be out wandering around," Zayn greeted him as he stepped aside to let Harry into the warm flat. Zayn was possibly one of the nicest people he'd ever met, despite being reserved when Louis had first brought him back to their shared flat. He'd like to consider Zayn one of his friends at this point. 

"Lou, Harry's here!" Zayn shouted, watching Harry sit down on their second hand sofa as he frowned. He looked tired as hell, and he could only hope that Louis would be able to talk some sense into him. He knew Louis had been worried about Harry all week. 

Harry couldn't help but feel like a burden. He knew it was ridiculous to turn up at Louis' door towards the end of the evening, and he knew it was ridiculous to feel the way he did, but he didn't know what else to do.

"Hey Haz," Louis said softly as he sat down on the sofa beside Harry, their thighs touching as Louis nudged him gently. 

"Sorry for turning up so late," Harry mumbled as Louis sighed, looking up as he wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders. 

"Never be sorry, babe. What's wrong?" Louis asked. 

"What makes you think something is wrong?" 

"Everything. You look tired as shit, you're slumped over, you look exhausted babes, and not just physically," Louis said gently, not wanting to offend Harry but frowning when Harry just nodded in agreement rather than fighting him. 

"What can I do to help?" Louis asked as he rubbed his hand up and down Harry's bare arm, a smile ghosting his face as Harry snuggled more into his hug. 

"I don't know. You being here helps," Harry replied quietly as he closed his eyes, resting his head against Louis' chest as he did so, allowing Louis to fully wrap his arms around him. 

"Want a hot chocolate?" Louis suggested, not moving until Harry had nodded. He pulled Harry up from the sofa and led him through to their small kitchen, where he began to make the hot drinks. Harry hopped up to sit on the spare counter without a word, watching Louis as he made the drinks quietly. 

"'M just worried. I don't feel as if I've ever known this little, and I've only got one more day," Harry sighed as he ran a hand through his curls, catching Louis' attention as he spoke. 

"Even if you don't feel like you know it now, you do. Your brain is just panicking so much that it's gone blank," Louis replied as he poured the hot milk into the mugs, stirring as he poured. 

"But that's the thing! Everybody expects me to know everything, and they expect me to do well and if I don't get A*s, I'm gonna be letting everyone down and they'll all be so disappointed. I can't fail," Harry said as Louis put down the jug of milk, moving to stand in between his boyfriend's legs. 

"Hey, look at me, Haz," Louis encouraged, not speaking again until Harry met his eyes. 

"It doesn't matter how well you do. I know you wanna go to uni, but your offer only requires Cs. Even if you get Cs, you'll still have achieved it. No matter what happens, I'm gonna be so proud of you my love, I couldn't do it," Louis said as he smiled at Harry, watching as he sighed, slumping his back again. 

"I can't afford to fail, Lou. I can't," Harry said, his voice cracking on the last word as he looked up at the ceiling, trying to will his tears away. 

"C'mere," Louis sighed as he pulled Harry down into a hug, not complaining when Harry gripped back tightly, not allowing an inch of space between their two bodies. 

"You're classing anything less than an A as a failure Haz, you gotta stop holding your own standards so high honey," Louis sighed, knowing Harry was listening from where his face was tucked into his shoulder. 

"'M sorry," He whispered. 

"It's not your fault, babe," Louis promised him as he stroked the back of his head. He'd never gone to college, instead choosing to get a job straight away since his grades weren't good enough, so he'd never experienced this kind of stress. Regardless, he hated seeing Harry so stressed. 

"How about we retreat to my room for the night, huh?" Louis suggested after a while. Harry nodded, pulling away from Louis enough that he could get off the counter, grabbing his mug of hot chocolate as he followed Louis to his bedroom. 

He loved Louis' bedroom. It felt like a sanctuary to him, with many strings of warm fairylights around, with soft rugs and a big bed. It was the one room Louis claimed to have put effort into, and Harry loved it. 

He watched as Louis closed the door quietly behind Harry before grabbing the tv remote and turned on the TV that sat on top of his dresser. When Louis' back was turned, he put his mug on one of the bedside tables and perched on the edge of the bed, not wanting to ruin the display of cushions (some of which Harry had picked out). 

"Y'know I only make the effort with those cushions for you," Louis said without turning around, as if he had read Harry's mind. 

"Well I'm glad I'm worth the effort then," Harry smiled, as Louis stopped flicking through the channels and sat next to Harry. 

"You'll always be worth the effort Haz," Louis reassured him, making Harry smile. 

________________________

"My god I feel like I'm gonna be sick Lou," Harry muttered as Louis pulled into the college car park, gripping Louis' hand across the console incredibly tightly. 

"It doesn't matter what you get, we'll figure it out, yeah? I'll be proud of you whatever you get because you worked so damn hard for this, love," Louis reassured him as he turned off the engine, twisting his body to face Harry. 

"I just know all my exams went to shit, I can't deal with the disappointment from my family again," Harry breathed out, and Louis could see how tense he was. 

"If it comes to that, we can deal with it together yeah? I'm not gonna let them make you feel like shit no matter what, I'm gonna be here, yeah?" Louis said as he squeezed Harry's hand. 

"Let's go," Harry said, quickly getting out of the car before he could change his mind, instantly around the other side of the car and gripping Louis' arm tightly again. 

It was results day. Harry had completed all of his exams, and even though he'd had to stay at Louis' for those three weeks since he was the only person who could calm him enough to let him sleep, he had survived. He had spent his summer relaxing, spending a lot of time looking for a part time job whilst Louis worked, being the acting manager of the shop at the moment. He had booked this particular day off, knowing Harry wanted him to be there rather than his family, and he knew he just wouldn't go if he had to go alone. 

Harry didn't let go of Louis as they walked across the campus to the building where the results day was being held. There was a large crowd of students waiting outside the building for the doors to open as they were a couple minutes early. 

"I love you," Louis said quietly as Harry sighed and looked at him, resting his head on Louis' shoulder gently. 

"I love you too." 

He noticed the doors opening as students began to move, and he was about to do the same until he felt Harry pulling him back. When he turned to look, he noticed Harry trying to take some deep breaths, eyes wide as he realised the moment had arrived. 

"Just give me a minute," He whispered as Louis nodded, moving closer again as Harry closed his eyes for a minute or so before opening them. 

"Promise you won't leave?" Harry asked as Louis nodded instantly. 

"Never, my angel," Louis promised before Harry began to walk into the building. 

He didn't hesitate to go and get his envelope before he was tugging Louis out of the building again. He didn't stop in his venture to get away from the building until they were stood beside Louis' car again, leaning against the driver's door. 

"Guess I should open it," Harry murmured as he stared at the white envelope in his hands. Louis nodded, but Harry didn't make a move to open the envelope, instead holding it out to Louis. 

"Can you? Please?" Harry asked quietly as Louis raised his eyebrows and took it, not hesitating to open the envelope and pull out the piece of paper. 

"Remember, I'm already proud of you," Louis reminded him as he unfolded the paper. 

Harry watched as Louis read the piece of paper, no part of his face giving away the results, making Harry even more nervous. Louis looked up at him before folding the piece of paper and grinning at him. 

"2 As and an A* Haz, you did it!" He said as Harry's jaw dropped, as he frowned and reached for the paper, convinced it was a joke. 

"You're joking," He muttered as he frantically unfolded the paper, and stared at it. He wasn't lying. An A* in psychology and two As in English Lit and Biology. 

"I told you you could do it baby," Louis murmured as he pressed kisses all over Harry's face, smiling as Harry pulled him into a tight hug. 

"Thank you so much Lou, for everything," Harry mumbled, unable to wipe the grin off his face. 

"For what love? This was all you." 

"For being there. For listening, not holding any expectations against me. For letting me stay at yours for three fucking weeks because nobody else could calm me down, for staying up through long nights to calm me down even though you had to open the shop the next day. Just, for everything, thank you. I love you so much," Harry said quickly, barely pausing for breath as Louis pulled back to look at his boyfriend, who hadn't looked this happy in months. 

"I love you too," Louis breathed before leaning forward to kiss Harry sweetly. 

And in that moment, all was alright in the world.


End file.
